Every good friendship has funny stories and great history, so we have put together a list of all the best funny friendship quotes for you to share. And if you’re looking for short funny friendship sayings for Instagram, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Funny Friendship Quotes and Sayings
A true friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.
I love you, but if you make me choose between you and pizza… bye!
“A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.” ― Markus Zusak
“The best mirror is an old friend.” ― George Herbert
“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” — Arnold H. Glasgow
“If you are ever lucky enough to find a weirdo, never let them go.” — Matthew Gray Gubler
“Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.” — Anna Deavere Smith
“True friends walks in when the rest of the world has walked out.” ― Walter Winchell
“Don’t regret about growing old my friend, we can share memories and each day renew our friendship.” — Catherine Pulsifer
“Friendship is being there when someone’s feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.” — Randy K. Milholland
“Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected.” ― C. J. Langenhoven
Yeah, my squad is small and full. I go for quality, not quantity. Sorry, but not really!
True friends are the people in your life who make you laugh louder, smile brighter and live better.
“It takes a long time to grow an old friend.” ― John Leonard
“Talk between women friends is always therapy…” ― Jayne Anne Phillips
“The friend that always finds time to spend with you without consulting his or her calendar is a true friend.” ― Ellen J. Barrier
“Best friends are life’s truth tellers.” ― T.J. Condon
You don’t have to be crazy to take a selfie with us, but it helps.
“Friends are the family you choose.” — Jess C. Scott
You can earn your way into our selfie squad by being a little crazy.
“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” ― Robert Brault
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ― C.S. Lewis
Friends pick us up when we fall down, and if they can’t pick us up, they lie down and listen for a while.
Good friends show their love in times of trouble, not just in times of happiness.
“No one is a friend to his friend who does not love in return.” — Plato
“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” — Woodrow T. Wilson
Friends are the beaches of life.
“I am always saying ‘Glad to’ve met you’ to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.” ― J.D. Salinger
“A friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.” — Frances Ward Weller
“‘Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.” — Charles Lamb
We’ve been friends so long I can’t remember who was the bad influence.
“There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.” ― Benjamin Franklin
Friends don’t let friends do stupid things. Alone.
“I’m so jealous. That’s it. I’ve got to get some dumb, ugly friends.” ― Gilmore Girls
You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” ― Joan Powers
“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.” — Mark Twain
“Candor is a compliment; it implies equality. It’s how true friends talk.” ― Peggy Noonan
“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” ― Sylvia Plath
“A true friend makes your problem their problem.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” ― Mark Twain
They say friends are the best therapy, but I don’t think it’s working…
“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” — Euripides
“Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.” ― Richelle Mead
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.” — Marx
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
“I don’t need another friend. I already have two. How many more friends does a guy need?” — Freaks and Geeks, 2000
Good friends, terrible ideas.
Best friends share one heart… and maybe one brain, too.
“There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.” ― J.K. Rowling
“A good friend is a connection to life — a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” ― Lois Wyse
“Marriage: a friendship recognized by the police.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
“Never let your best friends get lonely…keep disturbing them.” — Candlelight Publications
“Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.” ― Edwin Arlington Robinson
“My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.” ― Matt Schucker
“‘Are we going to be friends forever?’ asked Piglet. ‘Even longer,’ Pooh answered.” ― A.A. Milne
“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” ― Sarah Desse
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.” ― Len Wein
“Fan the sinking flame of hilarity with the wing of friendship; and pass the rosy wine.” — Charles Dickens
“Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.” ― Otto von Bismarck
“It’s not that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but it’s your best friends who are your diamonds.” — Gina Barreca
“Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.” ― Patrick to Spongebob
“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.” ― Jay McInerney
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” ― Mark Twain
We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile… Then we’ll be new friends!
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson
Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” ― Henry Ford
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.” ― Robert Brault
“A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.” ― Jim Hayes
“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.” — Jim Henson
“True caring friends are a gift; be careful not to tear the wrapping when you open it.” ― RJ Intindola
“Friendship consists in forgetting what one gives and remembering what one receives.” ― Alexandre Dumas
“There is a reason why you are my best friend. Destiny.” ― Almira Bastari
“Love is friendship that has caught fire.” — Ann Landers
“True friendship is trading photos from toilets.” ― Mike Wehner
“… a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear.” ― E.A. Bucchianeri
“True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.” ― Emilie Saint-Genis
“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” — Sicilian Proverb
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” ― C.S. Lewis
“I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends – they’re the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!” ― Warren G. Harding
“A friend to all is a friend to none.” ― Aristotle
“Friends are relatives you make for yourself.” ― Eustache Deschamps
“It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them and important to the friendship that we are not.” ― Mignon McLaughlin
“A good friend will always stab you in the front.” — Oscar Wilde
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” ― Arnold H. Glasgow
“Friends are the siblings God never gave us.” — Mencius
You’re sick in the head and a few other places too, but I know I’ll always love you.
“Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
“The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.” ― Aaron Machado
“Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.” — Henry Brooks Adams
“Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!” ― Bronwyn Polson
They call us smartasses, but I think they can drop the first part.
“True friends fiercely debate issues and still walk away as friends.” ― Frank Sonnenberg
“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” ― Abraham Lincoln
“Part of the journey in life is slipping and falling along the way; in these times true friends are the ones who pick you up and dust you off.” ― Ken Poirot
Crazy copilots make for fun journeys and expected destinations.
Finding friends with the same mental disorder. Priceless!!
“I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.” ― Ann Richards
Friends are the family you choose.
I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.
“I’ll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends—and my friends are hilarious.” — Issa Rae
“A messy house is a must – it separates your true friends from other friends.” ― Jennifer Wilson
“A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.” — Donna Roberts
“If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.” ― Oprah Winfrey
“Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.” ― Mandy Hale
“Friends make you smile — best friends make you giggle ’til you pee your pants.” ― Terri Guillemets
I’m already bringing myself, and you expect a board game, too?
“Some people only get called by their nicknames. Usually, it sounds weird to even say their real name.” ― Kishore
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ― Elbert Hubbard
“Never contract friendship with a man that is not better than thyself.” — Confucius
“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ― A.A. Milne
When life gives you lemons, don’t be afraid to squeeze them into haters’ eyes.
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” ― Bernard Meltzer
We put the Pro in Procrastinate, and make it fun!
“You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” ― Laurence J. Peter
“We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.” ― William Somerset Maugham
“No friendship is an accident.” — O. Henry
Love is blind. Friendship tells you to use a filter.
“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.” — Bill Watterson
“To like and dislike the same things, that is what makes a solid friendship.” — Sallust
A friend will bail you out of jail; a true friend will be sitting beside you.
I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends
“It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” — Marlene Dietrich
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” ― Jim Morrison
A true friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.
“We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn’t matter.” ― Mignon McLaughlin
You think my cat is crazy? You should see my best friend at 2 am.
“A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face.” — Maya Angelou
Of course my friends are crazy. Why else would they spend time with me?
“If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.” ― S.E. Hinton
“True friends chop the onions and cry together.” ― Ljupka Cvetanova
I’ll always send you my ugly selfies, and I’ll even let you share them.
Here’s to the friend who puts the “pop” in popcorn.
True friendship is when you walk into their house and your WiFi connects automatically.
“Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” ― Samuel Butler
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” ― Greg Tamblyn
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.
I’ll choose friendships over relationships any day. Sisters before misters!
“One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” — George Carlin
“A true friend doesn’t have guts; they beat you up and later plead with you to beat them back.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
So that is it for our list of Funny Friendship Quotes and Sayings. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
For more great ideas, check out our other lists of Short Friend Captions, Funny Friend Captions and Besties Quotes.
Routinely Lists is a comprehensive and varied collection of lists curated to help you find the perfect sentiment to share no matter the situation. From profound quotes to funny captions, topical messages or encouraging wishes, we’ve got the ideal list for every occasion.